Posted by: Ask Arden | January 11, 2011

What’s A Tiger Mom, Anyway?

After listening to the wonderful Meredith Viera interview, “the tiger mom” and quote exerpts from the new book,” The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom,” (catchy title), I have to say, three cheers for Meredith’s questioning the validity of the authors approach to parenting. The author is first generation, parented by strict, albeit, loving Asian parents. I admit some of the regimintation that she grew up with, ie: an A- is not good enough, and some denigrading comments her parents made to her, was clearly passed on to her legitimacy in treating her little girls in the same fashion.

Little children can be pushed around and intimidated very easily, even if Mom says I love you and I am only doing this for your own good. I want you to be the best. The difference, even for this mom, was when her daughters arrived at tween and teendom. Then it became a whole different ballgame. The girls become so much more challenging. That’s when the author said she started to modify her approach and that her book is really about, an asian mom coming of age.

Really it’s about the older daughters asserting themselves, something she couldn’t do with her own parents. I am so relieved that she became more compromising for her daughters and her sake.

A child is so much more than grades and how much they are driven and capable of practicing the piano or violin for 3 hours a day. Performance needs to be balanced with who they are, what enhances them, and developing their interests and passions.

She has created quite the stir and maybe that’s a good thing. Questioning ourselves as parents and where we come from only serves to benifit our children.

Guess what, my Chinese Zodiac sign is that of a TIGER. Roar, but for me I think it’s more like the protective tiger with her very young cubs. Children become tweens, teens and young adults that pass through us.

Respect and love of themselves and others is the key to healthy self esteem. I am so proud of my two grown children.

An exciting update on my book:

I am in re-writes right now for my book, What Do Expect? She’s A Teenager! A Hope And Happiness Guide For Moms With Daughters 11-19. Sourcebooks. Publishing date August 2011!

Wow, would I love my book to cause some stir as well and oh would I love to be interviewed by Meredith. I did meet her many years ago on the TV show “The View.” I did two segments that were teen driven. She was and is a delightful, real, authentic gal who is smart and with it. That’s one of my dreams. A today show interview. Pray for me.

Much Blessings from,

Ask Arden



  1. Arden, you are a wonderful, sensitive, bright and compassionate Tiger. I know your book will be a success and Meredith will be lucky to get you on her show! Vivian

    • Thanks Viv, That’s what friends are for, like the song.
      Blessings Always

  2. Thanks Viv,
    Working on hiring a publicist. This warm, compassionate, protective Tiger Mom who is able to see the BIGGER picture is determined to get out there and make a difference. Today Show, Good Morning America, Dateline, TV, Radio, Print Talk circuit HERE I COME! Yay!!!
    It’s wonderful to have a dear friend like you.

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